Today is the day for a little christmas doggerel

12/25/94

"Christmas is here!!

Ho! Ho! Ho! and Good Cheer!"

Roared a jolly old voice

In the phone by my ear.

"Many a puppy

And kitten I've brought

to the good boys and girls

who all year seldom fought.

"The smiles on their faces

and the warmth in their hearts

is a clear indication

that they've made a great start.

"Both children and pets

are delighted, you see.

But I fear that an error's

been made here by me.

"In my haste to deliver

so much to so many,

I've forgotten to give them

instructions aplenty.

"There are so many things

that go wrong if you let them

They must do so much more

than just feed, love, and pet them."

I started to say,

"No, you needn't tell me...

The problems I've seen

run from A up to Z."

But he just kept on

spouting out worries and fears

of the problems they'd face

in the upcoming years.

Of the chewing and biting

and digging and such.

Of the scratching and peeing

on the couches and rugs.

Of the barking, the howling

the begging, the jumping,

the pulling, the prodding,

the chasing and humping.

Of the growling, the hissing,

the shedding and itching,

and the pulling of stuff

out of holes in the stitching.

When he finally finished

his list of concerns,

He implored me to help them

to grow and to learn.

To teach them to listen

and follow the rules,

For their owners are teachers

and their homes are their schools.

So call me or write me

Share troubles and fears

Answers are close as

the coming New Year.

What's more, for the puppies,

Great classes there'll be

At local Vet Clinics

And the teacher is me.

So let's start the year right

Our pets are a delight

When we know how to raise them

And treat them just right.

One last message

From Santa and me unto you:

May your pleasures be many

And your troubles be few.